PRIVACY POLICY

KINDA PRIVATE BUT NOT REALLY

Your privacy matters. Mostly because trust is kind of our thing. Unlike some websites, we're not interested in following you around the internet trying to convince you to buy a weighted blanket three weeks after you looked at one.

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1. What We Collect
   Very little. If you fill out the contact form, we'll receive the information you choose to send us. If you laugh at one of the jokes... Unfortunately, we don't have technology that tracks good taste. Yet.

2. Data Usage
   Anything you share is used for one purpose: Starting a conversation. No spam. No mysterious newsletters. No "Just checking in..." emails every Tuesday until the end of time.

3. Third Parties
   No shady data brokers, no selling your info to spammy marketers. The only “third party” here is Olive, and she just wants belly rubs.

4. Cookies
   The edible kind are significantly better. This site may use the standard cookies required to keep everything running smoothly, but we promise not to stalk you across the internet like that pair of shoes you looked at once six months ago.

5. Your Rights
   You can leave this website whenever you want. We'd obviously prefer you didn't but that's between you and your browser.

6. Policy Updates
   If this page changes, it's probably because we found a better way to say something. We like improving things. It's kind of our thing.

By continuing to view this site, you consent to being mildly entertained and potentially convinced I’m the right candidate.